Thursday, June 14, 2012

Porn Stars-Are We Pushing Them Too Far?

As I have started writing for an adult studio I have been trying to quickly learn a business that I am not that familiar with and I am having concerns.

Being concerned about those I write for and the industry as a whole seems to be a defect in my character at this point because I am not really sure how much the industry or the viewing public really care.

The questions that are coming up more and more in my mind as I write for the studio and models is the thought - are we pushing them too far?

 We have extreme sports, extreme weight loss, extreme home make over shows, every product now seems to start with the word extreme, we even have extreme pizza.

 And I am not talking about the different fetishes like BDSM for the moment I am talking about what we are doing to the adult performers themselves.

 Do we have some responsibility here as consumers to be aware of what we are REALLY viewing and what it takes to create it?

We as a society seem to be concerned with how the clothes we wear are made and how the food we eat is harvested. Should we be concerned by how the adult content we view is made and those who perform in it?

I believe strongly we should. And I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the way I see adult entertainers treated. They are many times treated as less than human, without feeling.  Not just by some of the studios and agents but the fans and bloggers as well.

I believe gay performers are treated with even less respect many times than their straight counterparts. 
That is one of the reason I chose to write for a gay, rather than a straight adult studio. If my writing brings just a tiny modicum of respect and dignity to these performers who bear themselves for our viewing consumption, than I will have accomplished a tiny bit of peace within my own soul about what I do.

I can see the pressure these entertainer are under is intense.

On the one side society intellectually knows a healthy attitude toward sex and sexual fantasies makes for a more complete human being. On the other side, we still treat sex and pornography as being a taboo even though statistics are coming out everyday how many people are actually viewing and reading about it.

And these outmoded notions of taboo are shoved in the faces of the adult entertainers on a daily basis. Add to that the fact that so-called fans and a myriad of gay porn following blogs that will relish and cannibalize performers for any misstep they make. 

This is a tough road for them to walk.  Even a rhinoceros’s hide is not that thick and these conflicting assaults must take a toll on them.

We are regularly seeing the “ripped” male physiques in not only adult productions but mainstream media as well. There is no denying we love to look at them but have we stopped to think of the cost to the performers?

I recently heard an actor on a U.S. television series say, “I just cannot keep up with 15 hour shooting days and a tough gym schedule so I have asked the producers to allow me to keep my shirt on more.” But what if your entire job is to have your shirt and everything else OFF in front of the camera?

The accounts I have read of adult male stars workout and diet routines make an Olympians workouts look like recess at a Kindergarten.

How hard these performers work was brought to the forefront today for me when Mr. Adam Robinson Vice President for Falcon Studios announced the passing of performer Mr. Erik Rhodes who worked with them for over 8 years.  A memorial page has been set up at the Falcon site if you would like to express your condolences.

The male body was not meant to show every cut in their abdominal wall because of the natural layer of protective fat that covers them. However many are dieting themselves to dangerously low body fat levels then decreasing their fluid intake to make their muscle “pop” as they call it, on camera.
Add to that the fact that in a gay male scene one or both partners must anally cleanse themselves prior to filming which leaves some feeling nauseous, dizzy and weak. Then on top of all that they cannot eat for most of the day and I believe they are setting themselves up for some real health problems.

How good would you feel about seeing an adult scene if you knew the models were feeling sick for most of the shoot?


And it is not just the physical strains that are put on these performers.

Most adult performers cannot make a living in this industry full-time and have jobs outside of the industry. Besides the second and third job they work they also have to promote themselves to get more work in the adult arena.

I say “arena” because at times, all the hustle for promotion they have to do reminds me of the Romans and the Coliseum where slaves and others were slaughtered by lions for sport.

The adult entertainers have to set up their own web sites, blogs, affiliate pay sites, Facebook and Twitter accounts, and MAINTAIN them!
They have to attend award ceremonies, promotional events, dance venues and so on.  Make sure they find a good agency, get in with the right studios, get their picture taken with the right people.  All this while hoping for calls from a talent agency they were able to sign with while fending off the "predator" scouts.

I have also started to wonder what it must be like for these performers after they have spent the day or weekend with people who are comfortable with sex and their sexual orientation only to have to return back to their lives and other jobs where people may not be so accepting?

How jarring the harsh realities must be when they can no longer be as open and must watch what they say and how they act. For those who live in large cities with a large LGBT community it is probably not so difficult. 

However I wonder about the ones who do not. Who return back to their lives and have to sequester that part of their being. I know I could not bear this type of schizophrenic existence.  I feel for those who have to and the effects it must have on their psychic souls cannot be good and must further their feelings of isolation.


Here in the U.S. some of the adult gay performers seemed to have found a nurturing environment with the M/M male/male romance writers. They even have a following calling themselves LOGP or Ladies of Gay Porn. I am so glad to hear these men have found a welcoming environment there since society is still mistreating them for their sexual orientation and choice of career.

I enjoy reading the interviews being done by some of the writers and those “outside” of the filming industry like Ms. JP Barnaby’s and the gals of Books and Porn. Their interviews are showing a more complex side to these performers rather than just the “scene interview” you so often see on studio blogs that tell you absolutely nothing about the performer as if they are just a machine. A very beautiful machine but for the most part just a machine without feelings.

Am I wrong to be concerned about such things?

Maybe I am just worrying myself for no reason here. Maybe everything is good and well and everyone is happy and getting everything they need. That the industry is perfectly fine set up the way it is and does not need to change and neither does our thinking toward it.
However I know that over HALF of all adult performers only do one or two scenes and never return.  That is a huge number for any industry and quite troublesome to me.

For now though those thoughts will have to wait for another time little blog.   Because my head is really starting to throb with all these conflicting thoughts and emotions and  I know I have a long night ahead.  I will be starring at the ceiling in my room and chewing at my bottom lip while I try to figure out a way to sleep and be O.K. with all of this………..

*quoted in

Saturday, June 9, 2012


We all know there are huge “tube sites” and “torrent sites” that people go to find free porn pictures and videos.

A survey conducted by the anti-piracy group NBT Envisional for NBC Universal stated 35.8% of all torrent downloading traffic was attributed to porn followed closely by movies at 32.5%.

According to XBIZ Research Spring 2012 guide, free porn sites are what are having the most influence on the adult industry and what you get to see or not see as the case may be.

These large sites can have literally millions of members or visitors who think they are bypassing the membership fee to adult studios by downloading clips or pictures, but at what cost?

You downloaded or clicked on the picture or clip and BAM you have just downloaded malware or spyware onto your computer and you probably never knew it. 

You know the maxim “there is no such thing as a free lunch”. Well guess what, it really is true when it comes to these particular types of sites.

“What are you talking about it is free porn so it does not cost me a thing.”

Not so fast kiddo. There is a cost and it is bigger than you may realize.

COSTS TO FREE PORN - Meaning the cost to you.

1. Free sites have to make money
So how do you suppose they do that? They employ affiliate programs that unfortunately use blackhat methods, tracker programs etc. that either redirect you to pay sites or siphon off your personal information to sell to information brokers. 

2. Slows your computer down

You know this is true because you are probably bitching right now about how slow your computer is running.

You may not be aware that when you click on these free sites that many are looking to invade your computer with their malware and access your information and you are letting them do it.

I hear your counter argument, “I keep my security anti-virus software constantly updated”. Well good for you however they can get in other ways from just the browser you are using right now.

Quotes from the site Technology Review about a Harvard based study on "Economics of Information Security" with reference to porn and security issues with these tube and torrent sites stated; "browsers were vulnerable to a known exploit in either Adobe Flash or handling of the Microsoft Office or Adobe PDF document types."

So guess what, if you have either Adobe Flash, Microsoft Office or Adobe PDF downloaded on your computer, and who doesn't, they got in!

And this goes for anything you downloaded from these "free" sites like movies, music, pictures, games etc.

You now have malware running in the background of your computer, worming its way around collecting all your information and sending it to heaven knows where and to heaven knows who. 

So do you feel like disinfecting yourself and your computer right now?  Well you should and I would recommend you do take your computer in and get the malware wiped off of it .  And when you get it back from the tech leave the "free" tube and torrent sites alone when it comes to copyrighted material.  Because like I said dear ones, there is no free lunch even on the internet.

And there is one last item I would like you to take away from this article.

3. Quality of porn goes down for everyone
Hollywood needs money to make quality movies, music artist need money to produce quality albums and porn studios need revenue to make quality porn videos. If you are looking for some inferior, lower than a snakes belly, poor quality video and malware installed on your computer I say go for the free sites. On the other hand if you want your sexual fantasy bank and head to be filled with high quality sex, beautiful models and have a porn collection actually worth bragging about then there is some cost.

Honestly the cost to these higher quality sites are really minimal when you get right down to it. With most subscriber sites less than $17.00 a month for a 6 month membership and some with $1.00 trial memberships.   For crying out loud you pay more for soda or coffee drinks!

Less than $17.00 a month!  

To have access to filling up your sexual fantasy bank, to stimulate your creative sexual brain, to see specimens of beautiful physical forms, to increase the spark in your love life with your partner, to just enjoying your own sexuality. If you can’t find that amount in your change drawer or the floor of your car you are doing something wrong folks.

And besides which is better and more long lasting, great sexual fantasies to enjoy your love life with or a.............. "Big Gulp”?

Yes I said it I know a gratuitous pun.  I could not stop my fingers before that one got out but back to serious business here.

I for one, want my online adult entertainment to make me feel better after viewing, not like I have to sanitize my keyboard afterwards. I like to fill the sensual databank in my head with beautiful bodies, beautiful scenery, enjoying the intimate pleasures of human sexuality. And I am willing to shell out the meager amount the quality adult studios are asking for in order for me to have that experience.

So please, the next time you are tempted to go to these so-called free porn sites and infect your computer with malware realize you are diminishing the porn experience for all of us by taking away the income these studios and models need to produce a quality product that they work so hard to bring us.

So how did we get to this point with all these free tube and porn torrent sites?
How does the industry stop all this porn piracy?
And are adult studios resulting to more extreme scenes to counteract the loss of revenue?

These and other articles coming soon so stay tuned my little ones.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Gay Bar Bans Bachelorette Parties

I was so glad to see Mr. David Cooley owner of The Abbey in Los Angeles publicly come out and take a stand against Bachelorette parties in his gay bar on CNN today.

"We love our straight girlfriends," the bar’s owner, David Cooley, said in a statement released Thursday. "But it's also a slap in the face to my customers and my life that we can't have that same celebration.

“It was just kind of, enough is enough,” The Abbey spokesman Brian Rosman told the Daily News.

I posted about this last month asking women to please call ahead to the bar they were thinking of going to and see if it was O.K. with the management before traipsing in with all their giggling girlfriends in tow to oogle the dancers and other men at the bar.

If you do not realize that a big debate is going on in this Country about marriage equality than you have been living under a rock. 

I am sad to say I am living in a State that proposed Proposition 8, Thankfully it has been overturned and it is working its way to the Supreme Court where I know eventually, if not ever so slowly, what is right and fair will win out.

Six states - New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire and Iowa - allow gay marriage, as does Washington, D.C. In addition, about 18,000 same-sex couples married in California during the summer of legalization in 2008, and their unions are valid regardless of the outcome of the Prop 8 case.

As a straight women who has always had the right to marry I am embarrassed, irked, annoyed and sometimes disgusted by the insensitivity we have to the LGBT community.  That is why I felt the need to post an Open Apology at the very top of this blog.

Gals, the gay community and gay bars have shown you respect by not discriminating against you and allowing you access to their bars and clubs.  And lets face it, they probably have better entertainment and dance floors than most of the straight clubs.  However it is time to show them the same respect and UNTIL they have the same right to marry as you do please stop rubbing your rights in their face and take your Bachelorette party somewhere else so we do not force these clubs to ban us.


Thursday, May 24, 2012


I am sorry this took a couple days to post but that nasty thing called "work" kept interferring with what I consider the most important thing, the Hop.

I am happy to announce
K-Lee Klein of Chaos In The Moonlight blog is the

winner of $100.00 being donated in her name to PFLAG which stands for Parents Family & Friends of Lesbians and Gays a very worthy cause that welcomes even straight folks like myself. :-)
I tried to get to the over 280 some blogs who entered WOW!  Unfortunately even with staying up late each evening I was not able to get to all of them however I will be continuing to visit your blogs if you all do not mind!

Thank you once again for letting me, a person who does not even write fiction, to participate in such a worthwhile event that is very important to me.
Shadow Sterling

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Hop Against Homophobia

Welcome to the Hop Against Homophobia

An extremely important cause that is dear to me and I appreciate being included today.

Please click on the EVENTS PAGE for details.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

International Day Against Homophobia and Straight People

So straight person what are you going to do on May 17th, named International Day Against Homophobia?

“Oh that is a day for gay people not me”………............WRONG!

The LGBT community has been assaulted by homophobia for years and most of it comes directly from the straight community. I know there are those “who protest too loudly” against same sex relationships who are probably struggling with their own sexuality but the vast majority comes from us, the straight community.

This is a day that “we” the straight community need to do more than just pay lip service to our views of equality for all.  It is a day to get out of your comfort zone and do something positive for your LGBT community.

There are still places in the U.S. and around the world where you can be denied housing, lose your job, be beaten, jailed and even put to death for being gay.  You know this is true!

The LGBT community have worked hard enough, they are tired and they need your help!


1. Reach out to someone you know is gay or being bullied and say you are sorry.

2. Join Straight For Equality and read what they have been so kind to write for us.

3. Post something positive on your blog, Twitter, FB page. This is not a day to give any time to those who are seeking negative attention.

4. Send a letter and/or donation to a local LGBT outreach organization. It takes so little to turn someone’s day around.

I am going to spend the day apologizing.

If just one person hears me or reads this and believes it to be sincere and from my heart then I feel I may have taken a tiny step in the right direction.

I am straight and I am sorry for taking for granted all the entitlement and privileges I receive in this world that you do not.

I am sorry for the cruel things I said to you in school.
I am sorry my thoughtlessness embarrassed you in front of others.
I am sorry for not extending my hand in friendship when I could have.
I am sorry for the tasteless jokes I said at the office.
I am sorry I made your work environment tough to go to each day.
I am sorry for the thoughtless comments you overheard me say to others.
I am sorry if your family did not support you when you came out or even rejected you.
I am sorry that you have to always be careful what you say around me.
I am sorry that I made you feel less of a man or woman.
I am sorry this is too little and too late in coming.

I am sorry.

I was wrong and you did not deserve any of it.

With great respect,

Shadow Sterling

(If you know of someone who is hurting and you think this apology might help, please feel free to pass it on)




Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Gay Adult Stars - The Human Side

This post is dedicated to dispelling the myth that gay adult entertainers are one dimensional.

Many are extremely creative, intelligent, compassionate, educated individuals who do not always get the dignity and respect they deserve.

Since there are a bazillion sites and blogs posting the SCENES of adult stars I thought you might enjoy a post showing the more natural and human side of these talented men.  It takes a great deal of time for these busy entertainers to create their sites and blogs so I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

As Mitch Vaughn stated in an interview on the Books and Porn  blog site, quote, “I think the public has a mindset that the guys who do porn are just stupid. Someone with a cock and nothing between the ears. I have been so surprised at how many down to earth, VERY intelligent guys I have met in the industry”. His interview along with many other adult performers can be seen on their site Books and Porn.

Before you read this post please keep in mind the following:

1. There are probably thousands of gay adult entertainer web sites and I have certainly not read all of them.
I did not review FB pages.

2.  Many sites are strictly promotional in nature, which is not a bad thing since I understand the necessity from a marketing standpoint. However, for the purposes of this post I presented ones that were more personal in nature.

3.  If you know of or have a site that is not a FB page, a pay site or strictly promotional in nature please let me know since I would like to do more reviews and postings of entertainers personal blogs in the future.

For those of you who heavily follow the adult entertainment industry the names may not be new to you.

But for those of you who do not please enjoy the writings of some wonderful, multi-talented and insightful individuals.

Mr. Romero does an excellent job of answering the many questions he gets from his fans.

If you like zany with a capital “Z” than Mr. Colby Keller is your man. His collection of “I See Penis” pictures he finds and sent in by his fans with his comments listed below the pictures are absolutely hysterical. He has been blogging since 2009 and you will see more personal items in his earlier posts and what a sweet natured man he really is.

CONNER HABIB - San Francisco
Right this moment it seems that Mr. Conner Habib has interviews and essays posted everywhere. And it is his writing that does get him notice. Notoriety as not only an educated man but a compassionate one.  His post about the very subject of “compassion” here is one that I believe every straight person should read. And his bare-naked expression of his feelings of love in his post about domestic violence are heart wrenching. 

Has one of the most unique blogs on the internet today. He started it more than 4 years ago and it is still going strong. He endears himself to his readers with his intelligence, wit and ability to show vulnerability along with sometimes brutal self examination. He gives insightful and practical information about those looking to get into the industry.  And the interviews he has done over the years are some of the best and most honest I have heard concerning the adult entertainment industry. One of my personal favorites is the one he gave on Queer & Queerer. It is a longer audio interview but well worth your time, as is his blog.

Is a veteran of the adult entertainment industry. Mr. Washington talks openly about the problems and issues he and the industry go through. Also is very brave in talking about his struggles with bi-polar disorder which I find most endearing, noble and honest. A very articulate man.

EDDIE STONE - Toronto Canada
He has a delightful selection of posts he calls “Porn Star Bed Time Story” that he also tweets about. Having Sex vs. Love is a favorite of mine.

This one is a rather tough one to read. He entitles his blog “A Romance With Misery” so you are forewarned.  His commentaries of lashing out and conversely apologizing to folks who post on his Tumblr site are hard to stop reading, something akin to “staring at an accident scene”.  Also at his older blog at  However I have included it here because I feel it is a very revealing human struggle of pain and addiction. And because, just like real life the adult entertainment industry is not always pretty.
I am sad to report he passed away on June 14th 2012, he was just 30 years old.

I know I said I did not want to review strictly promotional blogs and I know this one is contracted with however Mr. Jesse Jackman really does a great job of giving you an insiders look at the adult entertainment industry if you click on his “Behind The Scenes” link. His quote about one of his recent viewings of a video where he says, “the musical score was written in the key of leaf blower” was hysterical.  He is also open about his condition of Peyronie’s Disease causing a curvature of the penis which affects many men. Being open and talking about it intelligently I believe will go a long way in helping men with this condition feel less embarrassed and good about themselves. Because lets face it, a penis is a beautiful thing! ; -)

KENNEDY CARTER- From UK, Living in Mexico City for a year
Many adult entertainers crisscross the continents to film and Mr. Carter is no exception but what I found unique about him was the fact of how much he is trying to do. His major in the UK is Latin studies and he is immersing himself in the language by living in Mexico City for 2012 while working toward his degree. Famous, M/M erotic romance writer J.P. Barnaby did a wonderful interview of him on her blog  and
several other adult entertainment stars. If you have not already read them get on over to her site and click on her blog.  But Mr. Kennedy definitely wins cuteness points for this post on his personal blog.

KIERON RYAN - Los Angeles, CA
Talks candidly about his first year travels into becoming a adult entertainment star.
An educated man, he dispels the myth that people are in the adult entertainment industry because they have no other options. His blog is an excellent read and also deals with the world of leather, BDSM and fetish players.

LEO FORTE - Los Angeles, CA

Dispels the myth that adult entertainers are not deep thinkers. Leo is a multi-talented man who is a gifted artist and writer. He guest writes on others blogs as well. He is also a very accomplished fetish PLAYER and rigger. I emphasized “player” because he wants viewers to know there is a difference between adult entertainers who model and do a fetish scene as oppose to ones who practice it in their own lives.

Yes I know his new site now has promotional and pay videos on it but I wanted to recognize the charitable contribution he made and I know many, many other adult entertainers do.

I would really like to do a posting on the contributions adult stars have made to charity so please let me know of their good works.

NICK CAPRA - Southern CA, retired
A little hard to read because it is all in one long block on each post but he gives a very insightful and critical look at himself and the “appearance factor” in the industry. The obsession to look younger as we age and the honest look he takes at himself for the things he tried to do to accomplish that. I feel for that it is well worth the read.

RYAN RAZ - St. Louis MO retired model but still involved with the industry
This man says he LOVES to travel. In 2011 he said he has logged over 200,526
air miles, visited 12 different countries and posts some wonderful pictures and observations of exotic locations that would make a travel magazine drool.  I also loved his comment and post, If you are reading this then you know that being gay isn't a choice, its just the way I am. If you disagree with that I beg you to do a swan dive off a freeway overpass. While I do not agree with what these protestors have to say, I love the fact that they are able to say it. One of the many things that makes this country great is the fact that we have the right to express our opinions when ever we want to. In too many places in the world people are told what they are or are not allowed to express. If these people, as ignorant as they maybe, want to stand there and tell me how I am wrong then thats fine. As long as they are not being violent or causing harm to anybody, then I will fully support their right to protest.” Well said Mr. Raz.

TONY BUFF - Seattle WA
Due to his heavy production schedule for Fetish Force he does not have the time to update his blog however it is still an excellent read for his time and insights on the leather and BDSM communities and his history with them and I feel deserves the time to be read so I have included it with the list.


I always appreciate it when individuals who have a public platform to lead from actually do lead.
In a quote from his blog “Do we go to a condom only environment? is the industry safer condom only? To me this is a true statement but not for the obvious reasons, see too me the problem is this not what happens on camera but off camera....... how do we as performers and overly sexual people behave in our private lives. the problem are those who are not safe off camera who think "oh I cant get HIV" or simply think "it wont happen to me".
But where do they get these ideas? Where does one learn about sex? For many of us including myself yes, its has been widely due to what we see in porn. many have taken it a step further seeing no condoms as the normal way sex should happen. So I myself would have no problem going to a condom only industry. I watch a lot of porn and if there is a condom in the scene to me it takes nothing away from it. So whats the problem with condoms?”

Well said Mr. Diesel.

His post on his reflection on World AIDS Day is definitely worth reading a second time and a third and maybe a fourth and fifth until we get it.

Yes I know his site is mostly promotional in nature however I want everyone to get a chance to read and think about what he says here on his blog.

As I stated earlier I would like to include more posts like this one that show the natural and more human side to these brave individuals. If you know of a blog of this type I encourage you to send me a comment about it.

A SPECIAL NOTE to all the men in this industry who take the time to let their friends and fans know about themselves and their lives.