Monday, April 16, 2012

Gay Bars and Bridal Parties, Seriously?

     I read an article the other week by Brian Moylan at that just irked me, yes irked. That is the condition somewhere between mildly annoyed and full blown irritation.

     He talked about a trend that has been happening more and more over the years and that is straight women and men going to gay bars and clubs.

     Now that is not what specifically irked me it was the added notion of straight women wanting to have their Bachelorette or Bridal showers there and expect special treatment for showing up.

     Now I am aware the bar cannot discriminate by sexual orientation who they let in but Bachelorette and Bridal parties, give me a break. Or should I say give the bar and their staff and clientele a break. I know you straight folks are going to say that the reason you go is for the great music, dance floor, drinks, DJ, dancers, performers etc. But lets be honest, you are going there to stare, gape, ogle, gawk.

     I live in a big city so there is a pretty good selection of gay bars here but that is not the case everywhere. Some men have to drive miles just to find a bar where they can be comfortable, have a drink and know they are not going to get punched for hitting on another guy. Remember straight people have a monopoly on 95% of the bars in any given area.

     So ladies if you really have your heart set on having your next “girl-party” at a gay bar at least do a little research before you make plans. Call the bar up and ask to speak with the manager and let them know what you are planning and ask what day and time they would suggest for you and your guests.
     If they sound like they would rather slit their wrists than talk with you then this is definitely not the bar you want to go to. On the other hand some may be quite accommodating and give you suggestions on the best day and time for your event. And I am aware that gay bars can have some of the best dance floors, DJ’s and VERY hot male performers but be respectful when you are there. The world has plenty of dumb asses, you do not need to be known as one of them.
     And above all BE A GOOD TIPPER. Bartenders, wait staff, dancers, performers make their money from tips and they work hard for them.

Please take a moment to read Mr. Moylan’s article entitled Etiquette guide for straight people in gay bars.

NOTE TO STRAIGHT FOLKS- If you are going to London you might want to call ahead if you are planning to visit gay bars.


  1. Interesting post! I hadn't heard about this bridal party trend. It seems a bit strange to celebrate your upcoming marriage in a venue that caters to people who are still being denied the right to marry in many parts of the world.

    1. J.A. thank you for commenting here.

      It is a bit ignorant and that is why my title to this post ends with the word "seriously". It is also the reason I have an Open Apology at the top of my blog.

      A very wise gay man once said to me, “straight people are not even aware of the privileges they are afforded everyday that I am not”.

      Some gay bars welcome these parties because they bring in money for the bar and dancers others actually post on their sites prohibiting them. That is why I stated in the post if you want to do this PLEASE call the establishment ahead of time and see what their policies are.

      I do not believe these women are trying to be malicious when they do this however ignorance is still no excuse for hurting someone else. If I have enlightened some with my post and they pass it on to others than I feel that is all the better for everyone.


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