My business background is in marketing and I absently fired off a comment on one of their blogs saying I didn’t like they way they were “marketing” their models and insinuated their practices were nefarious at best. Because no one ever reads the emails on an adult site blog let alone posts them. There is just some poor guy sitting in front of a computer at 1:00am scrolling through hundreds of “spam” just deleting it right?
So I felt better for having gotten that off my chest, knowing it would never see the light of day and went on with life.
Then a couple days later BAM! I get an email from this European studio.
Now I quickly start trying to remember, what did I say in my email? Did I say anything libelous that could get me sued? Oh my God how much is this going to cost me, they are a big studio for heaven’s sake. Can I change my address or move out of the State before they actually track me down? How much does a plane ticket to Argentina costs these days?
It was way worse than I thought. Not only had the studio contacted me about my post to their blog it was from the owner of said studio.
Great, now you are in deep, deep dog doody girl. You had better get out the suitcase and start packing before a couple of big burly guys with foreign accents show up at your door asking you to “take a ride“ with them.
Then I started to read the email and realized he actually wanted to “discuss” my comments and my concerns. Of course I am no fool, well except for the stupid post I made, but I am thinking he just wants me to stick my foot farther into my mouth so he has more ammunition to sue me with right?
So we started to correspond and I actually found him to be a very articulate, intelligent and compassionate individual. I do not know why I thought someone in the adult industry would not have these qualities, I guess I thought he would be, oh never mind what I thought, I just didn’t think he would be……..nice.
And then things got really weird.
He said he found my style of writing “interesting”. I thought, interesting like mental or interesting like interesting. Apparently he thought interesting like interesting and asked me if I would consider a gig writing for his studio blogs and helping with some of their model blogs.
So I fired back another email and let him know I had never done any writing like that before and there was no way, no how, I would write hardcore. And the couple of raunchy sentences that pass for writing on the bulk of adult studio so-called blogs was NOT what I would be interested in doing.
I figured that was that and I could go back to my good old boring, quiet, non-interesting, thank you very much, life.
So you are still here aren’t you?
Well you know things did not end there and now here I am a straight girl writing for a gay studio and I still keep turning around looking for the porn writing police to take my keyboard away for me.
I figured my new “career” would be over as soon as they took a look at my writing and the new way I wanted to market their studio.
But again that didn’t happen and in the words of Sally Fields, “they like me, they really like me” were starting to sink in. Or at least that is what they are telling me right now.
But I am still scared. Can I really do this? I don’t want to hurt anyone with my writing and I certainly do not want to hurt the gay models who work so hard to produce the videos. I want to bring some dignity, respect, pride and some humor into their lives and I do not know if I am up to the challenge. I wish I was gay so I could do a better job for them.
So these insecurities cause me to lay awake at night, chewing on my lower lip, counting the patterns on my curtains and causing me to drink coffee in the morning for the first time in years to counteract my lack of nightly repose.
To assuage some of my fear and anxiety I went in search of any groups, conventions, clubs, chats, two crickets getting together, whatever, that fit my new job specifications-----US straight girl writing for European adult gay studio.
So far I have not found any. The closest I have come are the beautiful M/M erotic romance writers who are a delightful group but it is still fiction writing that they do and they are way more talented than I am.
With no one to mentor or to talk to or even exchange an occasional email with I have resorted to you little blog.
I need to get these anxious feelings out of my head so I can stop counting the patterns in my curtains at night and STOP drinking the damn coffee!
I have not mentioned the name of the studio here little blog because my relationship with them is still so new and frankly tenuous.
And I have no illusions here. If they do not see an improvement with the new way I have presented the writing and marketing of their studio and models it will be “adios little straight girl”. “We will go back to our old way of doing things“.
So I am going to have to use you as my confidant for now little blog. I just hope I do not make too many mistakes as I learn my way around the adult entertainment business and also look for more understanding in the divide that still exists between the straight and gay worlds.
To be continued……………..I hope.